Now today was a very impressive day for myself mainly because I had a fantastic day full of thoughts!
That's right I had more than one...I know...sound's too good to be true?
ok...ok...here is my deep thought for the day...
It ties in very well with traffic actually! You see today is very special for all you drivers out there that are in relationships. ok, here we go...
"Relationships is like a traffic report...everybody needs to know what's going on!" (and by everybody I mean the people in the relationship)haha...special isn't it? hahaha...I'm so proud!
I'm telling you don't you miss another Traffic report! You never know WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN! We tend to get a lit-tle wild sometimes!
Huh..love this job!
Jazz....
posted by Capital in the Morning @ 4:45 pm
2 Comments:
Gud morning everyone?
Sometimes life sucks! so to love....we need r'ships traffic updates to keep us moving..hahaha.thats is it (in this case we don ve to b on the fastest lane, r'ships need 2 b drievn slowly for perfection, though nobody will ever b 100% perfect).
Hey! I arrived in da office very early 2day, i woke up very early thinking that i will b held up in traffic jam...On reachin da office i found this joke n decided 2 share with ya guys. It will break ur ribs!
Here we go: There was this old man bein interviewed for a job.
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas.
NAME: George Martin
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman, (or at least, one who'll cooperate).
DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no, on my breaks - yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb, sexy, blonde, supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Sagittarius
Wal-Mart ended up hiring the old man because he was so funny.
Gud day guys..
tsk tsk tssk tsssk tsk tsk ......!
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