...........hehehehee its been a while since i last blogged,,..trust me you do not wannt know what i have been up to.......and pliz get your mind outa what you thinking-i haven't slept for the last two weeks..its been party after party mixed with work...you gotta be part of the crew to understand what we go through and how we balance this maisha(life) is quite hard to tell.......any way so this is ma random thoughts for my week...the government has come up with this idea of proudly being kenyan and hmmmm got ma mind thinking......what is that makes you proudly kenyan? i tried thinking about this for long and trust me, it took me a while to come up with the following....maybe you will be better than me....hehehehehe........
am glad to be kenyan because:
ONLY Kenyans.......
1. Are engaged for 5 years or more
2. Never bother to divorce, they just separate
3. Are late to church, work, and everything else EXCEPT when the disco is free before 9pm
4. Refer to diabetes as 'SUGAR'
5. Show up at weddings, showers, graduation, birthday parties with a new outfit on with nails and hair done but no gift
6. In relation to #5, they eat like parking boys and take a plate home
7. Consider 'clubbing' or 'henging' as a monthly expense
8. Leave bills (instead of insurance money) behind for surviving relatives.
9. Borrow money for a wedding.
10. have mothers who can use curse words and religion ALL IN ONE SENTENCE e.g. "Lord, give me strength because I'm about to knock the hell out of this child"
11. spend the car insurance money on everything EXCEPT getting the dent fixed.
12. invite co-workers and all of their friends to their child's 1st birthday party which happens to have a professional DJ with only about 3 kids (including the child) in attendance. And then expect the guests to "changa" for the bash.
13. Start every sentence with "Me I..."e.g. "ME I donno why you are saying that I always say 'Me I'.
14. Say 'Spend' when they are staying the night elsewhere from home, e.g. "Are you going to spend at her place?"
15. Put in iron rods in all windows and main doors...referring to them as ''Burglar proof''
16. Use "Ngai" as an exclamation mark e.g. "Ngai, what are you doing?"
17. Believe "Ati" is an English word for "What?"
I8. Think it is cool to drink and drive and get away with it "I don't know how I got home that day..the way I was soo drunk! the car knew the way all by itself"
19. Think all their economic and social problems are caused by "Moi" when in fact some have never been to school.
20. Pack up all their earthly goods to go to "shaggs" for a week in December, only to pack them all back again after that one week and return to "Tao"
21. Call travelling "flying out" e.g. She flew out (no one ever seems to wonder where all these Kenyans fly to)
22. Think that taking a clerical job in a company is better and "cooler" than toiling in their parents' family business.
23. Prefer washing cars and dishes in USA to toiling in their 20-acre tea farms in Kenya.
24. Call their homes "at ours". e.g., "At ours, we eat Githeri every day"
25. Complain for five years about poor governance and corruption then vote in the same clowns back to parliament.
26. (THIS POINT COULD GET US SUED...HENCE CENSORSHIP...)
27. Go on strike for one day and expect the govt. to resign!
28. Sit back in their homes and expect their MP to "bring Development"
29. Refuse to insure against anything and expect you to bankroll them when calamity strikes... thro' Harambee.
30. Sit calmly and sometimes cheer as a mad man drives them in a ramshackle at breakneck speed to certain death.
31. Drive with their windows wound up when they get to city centre because of 4-year-old brats armed with human feaces, and still claim to be free people!
Sounds so true, eh? I hope you are still Kenyan by All standards! Me, I am Kenyan Damu, but do I say!! and with that, as we all say, Me i, i am proud to be kenyan........adios,
Vinnie here signing out....i gortta get ma show moving........
5 Comments:
Hahahaha! Proud 2 b Kenyan! Brainchild of gava inspecta..ooops! gava spokeman. But i wonder, how can jivunia kuwa Mkenya when:
1. 56% of Kenyan lives below $1 a day?
2. 10% of Kenyans control the country's wealth?
3. travelling on potholed, dusty roads evryday?
4. Some pple who depleted this country's economy r left scot-free?
Anyway, what can we do? We must b proud to b Kenyans coz there's nowhere u can go. East or West home is best.
Pekky (can i call u that)
yr so right - i mean look at the way our lives are so sad- pitiful actually and then we are asked to be proud - OF WHAT? I guess we have no choice but to be proudly AFRICAN
S
Yeah Seanice, we just need to b proud of our race..African...but not 4 a person enjoyin his full perks at the xpense of taxpayers to preach 2 us that we shuld b proud to b Kenyans!
How can we be proud 2 be kenyans when our government sucks! Am just proud 2 b Unyc, u dig.
hehehehehe..can you stop hating- i will gladly tell you that i have the rights to that piece..hehehehe..kidding, any way i had to change some from the original coz i would have been sued and trust me SUED by someone in the government..so i had to add some of ma own,,..so well........hehehehehe, thanks for the poste though..keep blogging
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